Divorce Guide

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Advice To Single Parent After Divorce


Divorce forces people to play the role of a single parent. With almost 50% of couples getting divorced every year the number of single parents is also increasing. The US Census Website states that there are 12,687,000 single mother families and 4,028,000 single father families in US. Being a single parent is not easy; you have to play the role of both mother and father. This article provides advice for single parents after divorce.

If you get the sole custody of your child then you become a single parent. Although the ex spouse gets visitation rights, in the eyes of law you are the legal parent of the child. There are a lot of challenges that a single parent has to face in raising his or her child. Whether mother or father, both are incapable of taking care of the childís needs alone.

Challenges in Single Parents:
  • The biggest challenge faced by single parents is related to finance. Being a single parent you are the sole earning member of the family who takes care of household and the needs of the kids as well. Although you would be getting child support from your ex spouse but it might not be sufficient due to the growing needs of children.

  • If the single parent is a mother then she fails to show the kind of strictness that a father can show. As a result children become indisciplined and do what they want.

  • If the single parent is a father then he finds it difficult to understand the emotional needs of children. As a result the children with father as single parent become loners and introverts.

  • A single parent has to juggle between the work and household. As a result children have to take care of responsibilities at home since very young age. Children have to help their parent either by taking care of the younger sibling, or household jobs.

  • A single parent has to balance between the career and child. As a result he or she is always juggling between priorities. For example a single father fails to decide whether he should attend the PTA meeting at the kidís school, or reach on time for an important board meeting.

  • Children, whose parents are divorced and stay with single parent are always questioning about the other parent. The custodial parent finds it uncomfortable to answer if the other parent is remarried or does not have any attachment with the child.
The challenges faced by single parents are not limited to what have been discussed above. Every family situation is different and thus every child and their parents have to face different set of problems.

Single Parenting Advice:
  1. Be positive: Donít be too much depressed about your single parenthood status. If you are depressed you will become negative which will affect your behavior with the child. Take the challenges of single parenthood positively. Enjoy your space with your child and do things the way you want to.

  2. Create an identity for your family: Never let the feeling creep your childís mind that it is an incomplete family. Try to give a character to your household and assert yourself as the master of the house.

  3. Take the help of non custodial parent: Be open to your ex spouse when it comes to asking for financial help or any other support. If your child is facing some behavioral problem then you can ask the non-custodial parent to interfere and explain the child. Or if you are going on a business trip you can ask the ex spouse to take care of children.

  4. Donít Juggle too much: Donít overstretch yourself while playing the role of both father and mother. Let your child understand gradually that he/she has a single parent yet he/she is not devoid of anything. Donít let the child feel the pinch otherwise he/she will be more demanding.

  5. Seek peopleís advice: Handling single parenting problems can be easy if you seek advice related to single parent. You can talk to friends and family who have undergone the same situation. A lot of information is available on internet so keep reading them. Join single mothers or single fatherís forum to get answer to all your questions.
Single parenting can create serious problems like drug addiction, criminal behavior, theft mentality, and so on. Single parents have to be very strong entities in order to handle the child in a proper manner. If you have been divorced recently and you are the legal custodian of your child, please get some good advice on being single parents from preferably a family counselor.


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