How to tell your Kids you are getting a Divorce
Divorce is the end of a relationship. It is very hard to tell the child about the divorce. Here are some tips that focus on how to tell your kids you are getting a divorce. Most of the parents don’t want their kid to get hurt. Sometimes, parents need some guidance to know how to deal with their kids during the divorce process.
Guidelines to Tell your Kids about your Divorce
- Confirm with your spouse before you tell the kids about the divorce.
For your child’s welfare, put aside the hurt and anger, so that you can decide together about the details you will need to tell your children. If it is not possible for you and your spouse to speak with each other, use the services of a counselor, or invite someone your kid and you trust to help you to work out the details.
- Both parents should be present when telling the kids.
It is important that the child hears this news directly from his/her mom and dad and not from a third person. If your kids are of different ages, share the basic information at the first meeting and the details later. You can have separate conversation with your older child.
- Stay calm and avoid blaming.
Always avoid the tendency to say whose ‘fault’ this is. Try to incorporate the word ‘we’ when you are telling about the decisions that have been made.
- Try to give reason for what is happening.
Kids will definitely want to know why their parents are separating. So while you do not want to share details about the divorce, be prepared to give some type of common explanation.
- Tell about the changes your kids can expect.
You can help your children to be prepared for changes they will face regarding where they will live and with whom. Try to be honest about what you know.
- Provide specific details about the parent, leaving the home.
To maintain a quality relationship with your kids, tell them about where the departing parent will stay and when they will be meeting him or her.
- Reassure the children of your unconditional love.
Your children will need lots of support. You have to make them understand that the divorce is not their fault. Make sure that both of you collectively and individually express your love through words and actions. But avoid making promises about an uncertain future.
- Be sensitive to the kid’s reaction.
Sometimes, your children may not know how to express their intense emotions properly. So try to be with them and give response to their feelings whether it is crying, shouting or complete silence.
- Answer their questions.
After knowing about the divorce, children will have many questions. Try to be honest and answer their questions. After you have told the children about the divorce, expect to revisit the topic many times to answer their new questions and clear the doubts.
- Give them time
It will take time for them to adjust to the news of the separation. Be patient with their needs and help them to start their life normally.
All these guidelines will definitely help you to handle your child’s behavior after knowing about the divorce.