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Does Divorce Help Or Hurt Children?

Divorce is a legal separation of two estranged couples. It is the very cause of breakdown of the entire family unit. This traumatic event of life also brings separation of child from his or her parent. In fact, children are regarded to be one of the worst affected victims of divorce. The degree to which a divorce can hurt children depends upon the age, gender, personality and intensity of conflict between the parents.

The following are the general impacts on children of various age groups experiencing two of their nearest ones getting separated from each other.

Infants The emotional aspects of an infant may not be directly affected as he or she will be too small to realize the event of parting of the parents. But infants do react to the changes of the mood of the separated parent with whom he or she lives. Influenced by the lack of energy levels of the divorcee parent, the child may suffer from loss of appetite, stomach upset or vomiting tendency.

Children of 3 to 4 years of age Generally, a peculiar belief grows into the minds of the children of the age group of 3 to 4 years that they are the very reason for the separation of their parents. Their inner psychology influences them to believe that it was his or her misdeed or pranks like not eating food on time or not performing the required daily chores that have annoyed his or her parents and caused their separation. Sometimes they behave disobediently and become aggressive in nature. In some cases children try to get back to their early childhood when he or she enjoyed the care of both of their parents by playing with the old toys and even end up in wetting their bed.

School aged children The children of this age group are worst affected by the divorce of their parents. They are old enough to realize the trauma of separation of their parents while they are too tender to control such emotions and feeling of pain. Grief, a sense of disloyalty and anger form the various traits of emotion of such children.

The teenaged children - The adolescents also experiences a deep feeling of alienation, depression and a sense of guilt. Since they are matured enough to understand the intricate causes behind the divorce of his or her parents, they find difficulty in selecting and being at the side of one parent.

Some times when a couple undergoes to the extent of irrecoverable disputes and the relationship has become too cold to be warm again, divorce does help to a certain extent to children as he or she would be saved from experiencing the daily tiffs between the parents. Generally, it has been noticed that the boys brought up under the care of his father and girls under the care of mother have a healthy psychology than those brought up under the care of the opposite sex. Girls raised by mothers are found to be considerate and responsible in nature while boys experience fewer emotional conflicts when close to their father.

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