Divorce Guide

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Divorce Custody Mediation


Why Divorce Custody Mediation?

Every parent loves his/her child and wishes for the best of things to happen to it. However, divorce proceedings envelopes the child in bitter “battling atmospheres”. It is unanimously accepted that taking an ex-spouse to court for a child custody case after a divorce creates more conflict and turmoil. The child invariably suffers, feels lonely and sad as he is pulled and pushed during the custodian fights in a child custody case. His/her parents fighting for a divorce in the court has a negative effective on him. Fighting over his custody, adds to his misery.

Child custody mediation is an “out of court” formula. The divorced parents work upon a parenting plan. This they do to contribute in the best possible way in the growing up of their child. It primarily involves a third neutral party who helps them arrive at an effective parenting plan.

What does a “parenting plan” involve?

The “parenting plan” deals with the structured framework which specifies how the now divorced and hence, separated parents would bring up their child. It specifically mentions the day-to-day time sharing of each parent with the child would be, till the child reaches a certain age. Vacations of the child, his weekend time and other family matters concerning the child are considered in the “parent plan”.

Court-connected mediation services

Several states in USA now-a-days have courts which are promoting mediation services for child custody before the disputing partners file adversarial court litigation. This is being done to arrive at a more amicable arrangement in a less formal setting as that of a court.

The advantages of divorce custody mediation are the following:
  1. Focus on the child’s best interests.

    Mediation primarily has one goal: the best interests of the child which are not lost as a result of disputing parents. Through mediation the parents have a proper plan as to involve themselves in the most suitable way.

  2. Focus on moving ahead and on the future

    Wreckage of a loving relationship, turning it into a chaotic and arriving at a painful decision for a divorce often leads partners blaming each other on innumerable issues. As a result, proper nurture of the child takes a sideline and the child suffers due to neglect. A professional mediator hence, focuses on the future for the benefit of the child and how best to utilize the energies of the parents. He/she does not dwell on the issues of the past but helps the parents develop a sound, effective plan for the future of the child.

  3. Easy on the pocket and less wastage of time

    Suing ex-spouses for the custody of the child compels partners to shell a great deal of money and also involves a lot of time. Mediation is comparatively cheaper and is worked upon in an atmosphere which is less hostile or formal than that of the court. To reduce the time wasted in court litigation over child custody, many courts in certain states are offering mediation services to the disputing ex-spouses.

  4. More effective- a Win-Win situation

    It has been observed that in 60-70% cases of child custody through mediation, the parents arrive at a more agreeable and happy parenting plan which is seen to be more effective than the one formed at after an adversarial court litigation.

  5. Better involvement of the child

    As child custody mediation happens with the parents and the child being actively involved in preparing the “parenting plan”, the child feels happier at this empowered position. There is no undue stress on the child. Under the able guidance of the professional mediator, he does not get the “guilt pangs” of having particular loyalties and thus, is more at peace with himself.
Child custody mediation before and after a divorce is hence, a blessing to all those troubled families where growing children need the much wanted attention and love. Divorce between parents may have shattered the dreams of the child, but child custody mediation definitely brings hope.


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