Supporting children through divorce
Children feel the trauma of divorce or legal separation of their parents. They feel uncertain about life and have many emotional changes. It is supporting your child through divorce is very important.
Communicate with your child
Verbal communications about things are very important when you are going through a divorce process. Your child needs reassurance about many things and this step decreases their confusion. You can talk to them about your legal separation and assure them, no matter what, it will not affect the family. This will help you to address your child’s fears, worries, sadness and anger.
Non-verbal communication like hugging, going for a walk, etc also helps a lot. Your manner, expressions and actions have a long lasting effect on your kid.
You can make some extra efforts to help kids express their feelings. This can be done by using the following points:
- Listen to your child and make him know that you are always there to listen to whatever they feeling.
- You can help them put into words their feelings and help them to let them out. You can encourage them to talk and notice any slight mood change.
- Help them to vent their true feelings even if they are negative. Lat them know that whatever they say is ok with you and you are there to listen to their feelings.
- You should show acknowledgement to their feelings. You should inspire trust by showing that you understand their feelings.
Provide stability in everyday life
- Children often feel uncertain about life when they now about the divorce between their parents. The family unit that was unbreakable earlier seems to break. You should try and provide continuity in everyday activities. These regular routines allow the child to have more comfort and know what to expect.
- You should avoid blaming your spouse in front of your children. You can put forth the change in circumstances and the reason for divorce very diplomatically.
- Make sure that your child does not think he/she is the reason for break up. Make sure the child knows that both parents will continue to love them and that they are not the reason for the separation.
Get social support
Watch your kids for some warnings:
- Make sure the people your child comes in contact on daily basis know of the situation. This includes the teachers, baby sitters, etc.
- You can plan some outings with family friends that may help your child.
- Faith based counseling also helps in many situations.
- Sleep disorders
- Problems in concentration
- Decline in grades
- Self injuries behavior
You should help your child to avoid getting stuck to certain emotions like fear and uncertainty. You should be available for your child and make sure that you give them timely help if there is a need.
You should be able to communicate with your child and meet their needs for support and safety. You should also try to maintain civil relations with your ex to have a positive effect on your child.