Preparing children for divorce

When you have decided on a divorce, it would be extremely essential to prepare your children for your divorce. Your child should know in advance that you would be divorcing and the parents would no longer be living together in the future.

Divorce at any time is a devastating event for the entire family including the children. Children sometimes become like voiceless victims and are even treated like property during divorce settlements.

While preparing children for divorce you should always keep your focus on your child. You should always keep in mind that children are more sensitive than adults.

Some steps to prepare children for divorce-

  1. Before you bring up the topic of divorce to your children, you should think beforehand as to what you would be telling your children. When talking to your children avoid telling them any lie or fighting in front of them. Talk what is necessary at this time without bringing up topics about child custody. Your children should know that your divorce was not because of them.
  2. Your children should know well in time about your divorce. When they are aware of the impending divorce they would have enough time to adjust themselves to the new atmosphere or even a new residence.
  3. Donít allow your children to get involved in the turmoil between your spouse and you. Inform your children in a calm manner that everything would be fine and the relationship shared between both the parents and children would remain the same.
  4. Evade revealing too many details about parental conflict. You would require to tell your child as to why you are getting divorced without bad mouthing your partner. Your child would not like to hear anything inappropriate about the other parent or anything negative.
  5. Make sure that you donít put the kids in the middle of any conflict. Avoid asking your children to take sides during any argument between you and your partner. Donít impose your views on the children. It would be wise to remember that children need both parents for support.
  6. During and after your divorce, you should work towards affirming your love and affection for your children. Children should be aware of the fact that things would not change for them where love and affection is concerned.
  7. Make sure that your children remain respectful towards the non-custodial parent at all times. Children always prefer permanence and stability and thrive on healthy relationships.
  8. You would have to make out time to listen to your children and answer all their queries. They would have questions about who will attend to their basic needs and requirements such as extra-curricular activities and school work.

You should handle your divorce in such a manner that it does not harm the children in any way. It would be advisable to preserve integrity as much as possible.

Any decision which you take after your divorce should be in the best interest of your child. When you prepare your children for divorce they would be in a better position to handle their life after seperation.