Divorce is a painful event for the parents, but even more painful for the children involved. Divorce is even harder for the children since they take the blame of divorce onto them.
Despite the age group of your children, you would have to make them understand about divorce in a manner which would not disturb them emotionally and physically.
You should keep in mind before you start talking to your children about your divorce, even you would have to deal and cope with uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and trepidation. Feelings and emotions are strong during divorce and it is human to feel the same.
The most suited way to make your children understand about divorce, would be to be completely honest with them at all times. It would be advisable not to hide important facts about your divorce from them.
The right time and place: Choose a time and place which is most suitable for your children. Choose a location for your conversation which is private and comfortable like your home. Give your children top priority over other things. It would work to your advantage if your keep the environment tranquil, you can reduce environmental distractions by switching off your phones, the computer and the television. Make sure that you have time for your children and you are available for them when they need you most.
Be brief: While talking to your children, you should keep your conversation brief and to the point. Refrain from getting into long drawn explanations. Children get bored with long drawn explanations.
Pay importance to word usage: Use words which would be appropriate for your children in relation to their age. Use words which are easy for your children to comprehend and understand. It would be wise to take the help of examples than abstract ideas.
Express your feelings: It is perfectly normal to express and show your feelings in front of your children. When expressing your feelings you must use your discretion whether the same would prove negative for your children. Some children are unable to handle strong emotions and feelings and they also may become hostile. It would advisable to give your children time, space and opportunity to absorb what you have to say.
Each child unique: You would not get two same reactions from your children. Each child is made unique and would also show different reactions. Some children get shocked while some maybe less reactive. Some children prefer to keep their feelings inside, while some prefer to be more verbally expressive. Children usually vent feelings ranging from anger, outrage, confusion and discomfort.
You should always keep in mind that children would have numerous questions for you to answer and you would have to validate what your children are feeling.
Give your children time to cope with divorce and difficult times. Work towards reducing the negative impact of divorce on your children. It would be extremely important to talk and comfort your children at all times. Make your children feel secure and loved.