Divorce Guide

Divorce Guide


How to avoid hurting children in a divorce?


Children are much more sensitive to issues and problems in the house than adults. Divorce can have a negative impact on the children throughout their lives. They find it tough to handle situations and cope with nerve wrecking circumstances.

Parents should always remember that divorce is taking place between them due to irrevocable differences, and not between them and the children. Both the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent would have to work in a co-operative manner which brings least amount of hurt on the children.

How to avoid hurting children in a divorce?

  1. Avoid talking ill about your spouse in front of children, friends and family. When one parent talks bad about the parent, the children get hurt. No child would like to hear anything negative about their parents.
  2. Donít involve your children in any conflict. Donít allow your children to be the middle person to send across your messages to your partner. Arguments and fights in the house lead to emotional strain on the children.
  3. Avoid changing the routines your children are comfortable or familiar with. Keep to the daily schedules your children are used to. Your children would feel lot more secure if the household chores, bedtimes and mealtimes remain the same. When daily routines remain the same, children would feel calm.
  4. Try and maintain a cordial relationship with the other parent. When with children avoid fighting with your partner as this would have a disturbing impact on the children. When children see fights, they would feel insecure about the future and what is in store for them.
  5. Refrain from forcing your children to take sides or show loyalty. Your children would get hurt, when they have to choose between parents. Your children should be rest assured that both their parents would still love them like before. They should know that they can still depend and trust their parents.
  6. When talking to your children about your divorce, you need not disclose all the details about your divorce to your children. Let the children know that your divorce is a mutual decision and they are not the reason behind your divorce.
  7. Make sure that you are always responsible towards your children under all circumstances. Talk your children and spend quality time with them whenever possible. Your duties as a parent should not come under strain because of your divorce.
  8. Focus your attention on your children and see to all their needs. Answer all the questions your children have in mind about divorce, their future life and who would be taking care of them.
  9. Tell your children that you would not be getting back together with their other parent. Be truthful about the situation to your children without hurting them. Ensure that you tell your children you would be there for them always.

To ensure that divorce is not hurtful for your children, donít make promises which you canít keep. Donít abandon your children during divorce, this is the time they need you most for emotional and physical support.


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