Co-parenting an adopted child

After divorce co-parenting is extremely important to ease out the tension and fears children face after their parents divorce. Co-parenting an adopted child will require the parents to be aware of the legal system and the obligations required by them to fulfil.

Co-parenting an adopted child-

Co-parenting an adopted child is even tougher than parenting a child of your own. Adoption itself makes the situation even more sensitive for the child concerned. Adoption is a sensitive issue and knowing that they are adopted makes the child even more scared of what would happen in the future.

Legal rights-

If both the parents adopted a child during marriage, adoption would not impact the custody of the child. In cases where both are legal parents, both would have equal rights in the eyes of the court.

In cases where one parent is the biological parent, the court would give preference to that case.

The court would in most cases give preference to the biological mother instead of the step father. But in cases where the mother has shown to be a poor parent the custody would be awarded to the father. The court would decide based on the interests of the child.

Issues of attachment and divorce-

The life of adopted children is known to be even more strenuous than for normal children. Adopted children first have to deal with the fact that they are adopted and are not with their biological parents.

Secondly, the child has to deal with the fact their present parents are going to get divorced. Adopted children have to experience feelings of loss and anger all over again. The loss is known to be ten fold for adopted children and they would also have to cope with sadness and confusion.

Comfort and reassure your child-

When talking to your adopted child about your divorce, tell your child that both the parents would continue to love him/her. You should reassure your child that feelings and emotions for the child would not come under any change. Tell your child in a comforting manner that though there would be separate homes, the child can still rely on both the parents for support and help. Your adopted child should know that they are not the reason for the divorce. Adopted children often feel that their adoptive parents would also leave them one fine day. Put your child’s mind to rest and clear all the confusion.

Tips on co-parenting an adopted child-

  1. Live near each other or in the same vicinity. Though the living arrangements may change after divorce, the child should be able to go the same school and indulge in the same extra-curricular activities.
  2. Both the parents should co-operate with each other under all situations. As parents you should keep all your personal differences on the side and concentrate on the well being of your child. It would be wise to set common rules for discipline, parenting style and behaviour.

You should always remember that adopted children require more care and reassurance.