Divorce Guide

Divorce Guide

Divorce And Kids

When couples with children get divorced itís the kids who suffer the most. Children are naive and immature to understand the actual meaning of divorce and take it negatively. Divorce and kids do not go hand in hand and couples with children need to be extra careful while going for a divorce.

Itís a known fact that proper development of kids need equal attention of both father and mother. The combined love of the parents nurtures the feeling of security and stability among the kids. Research shows that the children of divorced parents become negative and lack faith in their future relationships.

Letís see how kids feel about divorce:
  • Children feel insecure about losing the company of one parent
  • Children feel scared when their parents fight on issues related to divorce
  • Children feel responsible for their parentís divorce
  • Children feel that marriages are painful and stop trusting marital or committed relationships
Couples with children should try to avoid divorce until and unless the situation becomes unbearable. Of course, if a spouse is drunkard, physically assaults or openly indulges in an extra marital affair, it is better to separate from the partner rather than get into dirty fights in front of children.

If divorce is unavoidable, then you must take a few steps to minimize the effect of divorce on children.

Tips To Deal With Divorce And Kids:
  • Try for a no contest divorce: In a no contest divorce the couple mutually agrees about various issues before filing the divorce. The role of the court is only limited to issue the divorce decree. No contest divorce is quick and free of contention. Such divorce is less taxing on both parents and children.

  • Do not create ugly scene: You cannot avoid divorce but at least you can avoid arguments and ugly scenes in front of the kids. Children hate seeing their parents in bad mood and fighting with each other.

  • Be frank about divorce: Do not hide about the decision of divorce from your kids. Rather explain them about the reasons and how inevitable this separation is. Make them understand that although the parents are not together but they still love the kids in the same way.

  • Take childrenís advice: If your child is a teenager or adolescent then it is better to take his or her opinion regarding whom does he/she prefers to stay after divorce. It is not necessary that every child wants to stay with the mother. Sometimes the mothers are not caring or not in a position to bring up the child. In such cases, the father should fight for the ownership of the child.

  • Provide child support: Do not be egoistic when it comes to sharing the responsibility of kids. The spouse who does not have the legal possession of the child must provide financial help in raising the child till he/she becomes independent.

  • Do not talk negative things with children: Children love both their parents equally. Thus, one parent should not complain about the other or speak negative in front of children. They get hurt and might hate you for that. You must cooperate with the other parent during visitations and encourage the child to meet his/her non-custodial parent.
Kids are very sensitive. What they experience in childhood becomes the basis of their personality when they grow up. Thus, it is very important that divorced parents should try to save their children from embarrassment and do whatever is required to make them feel secured. Divorce and kids are parallel to each other but parents can definitely reduce the agony of kids by tactfully handling their divorce.

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