Divorce Guide

Divorce Guide

Co-parenting After Divorce

When couples with children get divorced they devoid the children from the bliss of parenthood. According to psychologists and sociologist, the role of both mother and father is important in a healthy mental and emotional development of children. In effect of separation or divorce, the parents must seek advice on co-parenting so as to ensure that the children are saved form the negative effects of divorce.

When the divorce takes place the physical custody of the child is given to one parent and the other parent is issued visitation rights that allow meeting the child on periodic basis. Some cases are also allowed joint custody where the child stays with each parent for a certain period of time alternatively. Joint custody is a good way to encourage co-parenting because it allows both the parents to take legal decisions related to the child.

Divorce and its related issues impact the child’s mind in many ways. It either makes the child skeptical of marital relationships, or instills a feeling of mistrust towards one parent. Research shows that the children who have faced the divorce of their parents feel Insecure and remain aoof. The shock of their family breaking into pieces makes them angry and revengeful.

It’s ironical that we cannot avoid divorce in certain cases. Most of the couples with kids try hard to sustain their marriage for the welfare of children, but when the situation becomes unbearable they can’t help but getting divorced. In such events, the advice for co-parenting takes care of the children’s emotional and developmental needs.

Steps To Co-Parenting:
  • Sit with your ex- partner and discuss on issues related to children– educational plan, holiday plans, future savings, health problems (if there is one), personality development, and so on. Men and women have their own views on a subject. You never know your ex-better half might suggest something bright

  • When you are discussing about the children, then set aside your ego and do not talk about past happenings. Stick to issues related to children so that you come up with useful tips.

  • Ask your self questions like – how can I make my children happy? what can I do to fulfill their needs? How can I financially support my children? The answers to these questions will help you fulfill your duties as parent.
Advice For Positive Co-Parenting:
  • Avoid Conflicts: Try to avoid conflicts and heated discussions with your ex -spouse in front of the children. Don’t waste the precious time that you get for visitation in fighting with your ex-partner. If you stay cool with your ex-spouse then the child will get a feeling of security and ease.

  • Meet the ex-spouse: If not on regular basis, you can at least meet your ex-spouse once a year to discuss if he or she is facing any difficulties with children. How are they doing in school?, how is their health? Or any other major issue.

  • Financial help: It goes without saying that you must support your exspouse with financial support required to raise the children. Although, court would have ordered you to pay child support, there is no harm in checking with the custodial parent whether it is enough or some more help is required.

  • Maximize on visitations: The non-custodial parent should use visitation as an opportunity to play their role as parent. They should be enthusiastic about meeting the children and try to spend quality time by engaging in activities that your child loves. Generally mothers are not very enthusiastic about playing sports that involve lot of physical activity, so if the father is the custodial parent then he should play child’s favorite sport with him/her

  • Taking vacation: It would be a good idea to take the children on vacation with the permission of the custodial parent. This will strengthen your bonding with children as you would be able to spend ample of quality time with them.

  • Respecting each other: If a father does not respect the child’s mother, or vice versa, the child starts thinking negative about that parent. So, if you want the respect of your children then respect your ex-husband/wife.
Co-parenting has to be practiced in close coordination between both the parents. You may have parted as man and wife, but co-exist for the purpose of children. A sane advice on co-parenting is that it is a positive step towards the mental and physical development of your child if you are divorced.

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